we have had two settling in days before hand of which i stayed with her so she played happily, the first time i sent her i stupidly sent her in Ralph Lauren UGGs & Ted Baker chinos... i quickly wished i hadn't once i saw her heading over to the paint & arts & crafts.. a stupid *blonde mummy moment from me.
the next time i was much more prepared & she wore her Hello Kitty Jumper & Gap Jeans with Doodles... a much better choice from my part.
But Today she has a Uniform nothing too over the top but helps me save alot of her clothes from stains.
So I didn't sleep much Hugo had me up most the night he must be having a growth spurt with the amount hes feeding. when we woke up this morning all Emilyn was talking about was School & how much she "loves School" it was beyond adorable. i got her uniform out & she was perfect no normal tantrum rebelling to get dressed she aloud me to do her hair & clean her teeth.
Today is a new exciting start for her. i prayed that she would go in without crying but deep down i knew she would.
The thing is we have never really been apart we are like two peas in a pod. - the last time i remember being away from her was this time last year she stayed with my parents as my morning sickness was so bad & Mic had to work away but she loves going to her grandparents so that didn't worry me. I then left her once Hugo was born each week whilst we went to Hospital to get his Casts changed ect ect. but again she was with Grandparents so she was happy.
well I'm now sat in my Orangery rain bashing down on the windows with no Emilyn I dropped her off at 9am almost an hour ago!...
i was right she did cry, I did cry i pretty much ran out of the school she was being help by a playworker crying for me. Oh gosh it was one of the worst feeling ever all i wanted to do was pick her up & run out back home with her. why is being a mummy so emotionally difficult at times?
the feeling of guilt leaving your baby girl to cry & scream "mummy " i kept telling myself to "man up" & i made sure Emilyn didn't realise i was crying as I'm sure that would of made things much worse.
Hugo is fast asleep next to me I'm just finished a caramel latte whilst listening to Radio 1. once I've finished this Blog what am i going to do with myself ? If I'm honest i feel a little lost. I'm sure i will enjoy this time in a few weeks once I'm used to it just all feels a little odd.
The Preschool have literally just rung.. i waited a few seconds to answer the phone with "what if shes still crying? what if they want me to come & get her?" thoughts flying through my head. i was so relived to hear "Emilyn is fine she is sitting in the baby corner playing with dolly's. she had a little cry through the register but i explained you had to leave to go to the shops to get her lunch"... just wonderful i knew she would be fine its just the immediate few moments of leaving her.
So I'm much happier.
The doors opened, i walked in I had to have a good look around but as soon as i spotted Emilyn she had spotted me "Mummmmy" she shouted in delight. she looked so happy running up to give me a cuddle whilst singing a train song.
she took my hand taking me into a room where they had sung the "train" song made me smile so much she was buzzing seeing her like this has reassured me that she may cry in the morning she may look very distressed But she enjoys herself.
the Playworkers explained that they had giving her her special blanky to cuddle until she had calmed down & once she had settled she was off playing,
My girl has a soft spot for boys... any boy she loves her boys! the playworker said she had made friends with a little boy of course she has so typical of her.
at snack time she had sat eating for a while the play workers said they could see her soaking up the atmosphere around her taking every detail in.
all the way home in the car she was none stop talking about school & singing & dancing & all her friend's saying lots of different names. she is also saying she cant wait to go back to school & can she go tomorrow bless her.
she is currently fast asleep after a very busy & emotional morning
I for one am so proud of my Girl.