"Boots bar off Mummy"

I've lost count on the awful nights sleep we've been having. 
It seems each night is getting worse. Hugo is 20months old & he's totally aware that in our household he's the only one to wear boots and bar to bed. This I believe is the reason why we are struggling so much. Last night around 9pm the night shift started a very unhappy Hugo woke up. He's tugging at his boots shouting, screaming, crying at me to " boots bar off mummy " fortunately for my emotions I'm handling it better, I'm coping better with him. But unfortunately it's still making me feel useless. Also incredibly guilty, guilty that I can't make him happy, guilty that I can't just take his boots off, guilty that we made him with bilateral talipes, he never asked for special feet. 

I know in the scheme of things this isn't a major problem. I know by the time he's 10 years old he will probably have no recollection of any of these terrible sleepless nights. I know there are many children out there with life threatening illnesses so I should be great full. And honestly this again makes me feel guilty for even moaning about Hugo. I know or we think Hugo mentality is 100% normal which again is a blessing especially after my 20 week scan & being told he could have Edwards syndrome & may not survive & if he did survive he may not have a very long life. 

So with that aspect of what life could of been I should be over the moon that all we have to deal with is his feet (within reason ) 

Honestly though I'm struggling. And I have 1000% respect & admiration for the parents dealing with much worse than I am. 

I want to say " I just don't know how you do it" but I do know ... We're parents & this is what parents do. We all have to cope because if we didn't how would our children cope. We have to stay positive & strong because if we didn't surely our children would struggle much more. 

My son is 20 months old & has a real disliking to his boots and bar. He's not sleeping & nor am I. I'm at my whits end. 

I wish I could see through to the end of the tunnel but I can't just yet. 

And if one more person tells me five years will fly by... Honestly you have no idea. 


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