2 years with the Boots and bar

Boots and bar 
Two years ago today Hugo was put into full time boots and bar you can take a look at my Just how far i've come - blog post
Boots and bar before & after Talipes
We've lived with boots and bar for two whole years! Strangest feeling ever, 
Yes these two years have flown by.
Yes I feel as though we have had the boots and bar forever.
I could easily say good bye to the boots and bar tomorrow, I wouldn't miss them at all.
I do know though if I was to do that I would be causing more hard work ahead of us. Hugo's feet would most probably relapse.
boots and bar 

How has two years gone so quickly? But thinking we have three more years to go feels like a heck of a journey. 
Thinking back to 9th February 2012 feels like yesterday...
It was a strange Thursday. My emotions were everywhere as Hugo may of needed his feet operated on, this is called the Achilles tendon surgery bare in mind Hugo was just 5 weeks old. This surgery would mean me leaving him whilst he had this small procedure done. 
Luckily (I say Luckily)- But there is still talk Hugo may need to have the surgery done in the future as his right foot is still quite tight.
Well Hugo didn't need it, The consultant said it was 50/50 that he needed it or not. They decided to go ahead with fitting him with his boots and bar. 

I studied them putting his boots and bar on, just circling around my head 'how am I going to get the hang of doing this?' Then I picked him up, whilst he was wearing his new huge heavy boots and bar, He felt like a tonne heavier! This is not right for my tiny baby. This is so unfair. The fighting back the tears, I left the hospital & cried all the way home, 45 minute journey home. Hugo cried the whole way home too. Why was my baby crying? I was told he may have a few nights of being unsettled....
I got home to my Mum who was babysitting Emilyn for me. I just burst in to tears. Hugo looked so sad too. This was the beginning of such a roller coaster journey I really had no idea, No idea of the impact these Boots and bar was going to change my life. 

The same day I thought I needed to create something positive out of this. I wiped my tears away & after being amazed by millas day dreams I thought I'd give it ago with Hugo wearing his boots and bar. I made In the eye of the beholder - A babies dream - This gave me such a positive feeling even if I had to wipe the tears away at the time. 
Hugo really didn't settle with his boots and bar at all well. I sat up with his all night for about a week, it was hell. He wanted his boots and bar off but I couldn't do it. 

I also remember finding it really awkward when friends & family wanted a cuddle with him, Here should be my tiny squishy baby, instead I had a baby with these huge metal heavy boots and bar, I felt myself almost apologising, apologising for my awkward baby. Apologising if he kicked them, apologising if they couldn't hold him comfortably, Just apologising in general. 

Then a month after Hugo being in his boot and bar we had the most awful night ever I wrote about it here A mothers guilt - A mothers guilt never ever goes away. I still have the sick feeling to the pit of my stomach. Hugo was crying, screaming, all night in pain. I tried EVERYTHING baby related. I knew deep down it was something boots related but I was told to try & treat him like a normal baby. 
But after a night of no sleep at 7 am I thought enough was enough. I'm taking the boots off. The sick feeling to see I had totally unintentionally caught his baby toe in his boot, I had bent the whole toe back wards. No wonder he was so upset. I was almost sick. These Effing boots. I can't believe them, 
Hugo boots and bar 
After that experience I was much more careful about getting his boots on, I noticed a few times I had almost caught his toe again. 

It's funny I have a complete love hate relationship with his boots, of course it depends on how Hugo like this video two years on A normal night with us in boots and bar January 31st 2014

I think we will always have our ups 

And we will always have our downs..

Boots and bar is always going to be apart of our life, I just hope Hugo learns soon how much he needs them still.

I hope the next three years go as quickly as the past two have, although I don't want to wish away time ...

E cuddling Hugo at 5 weeks old

boots and bar 

Happy 2 years birthday to wearing boots and bar Hugo.

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